Ah Man Blog

Pain. And Healing.

When you think back on my blog entries so far in 2009, you’ll recall that January’s theme was Change, and February’s theme was Love.  In March, I am going to focus on … Pain.

Each of us has experienced various types of pain in our lives, whether it was of a physical, emotional, mental or spiritual nature.

Even the process of healing from our pain more often than not involves pain in and of itself.  When we are in that state of healing from our pain, we usually require support of one sort or another from other human beings.  And speaking of those pesky (but unavoidable) “other” human beings, it is often extremely difficult to forgive the ones who cause pain to us or our loved ones. 

Over the next few weeks, I will share with you a different way to view your pain, and a way to get past your own vulnerability and forgive those who have caused your pain.

To learn more about Michael Hoare and Ah-Man, visit here.

The Third Essential

During the past few weeks, I have talked about the essential roles that Trust and Forgiveness play in our lives.  This week, I want to talk about the third essential: Acceptance.

After a slew of tragic circumstances and poor choices in my life, I finally learned how to reclaim my ability to trust.  Trust led swiftly to an understanding of the relationship I have with the Divine Mother and the workings of the universe.  Through that understanding, I was able to find forgiveness in God, in others and in myself.

The acceptance piece just came naturally after having trust and forgiveness firmly rooted in my life.  I can accept more in my life today than ever before.  I might not always want to accept situations that cause more pain for me, but the duration of my "hold-out period" keeps becoming shorter and shorter.  I might not understand why certain things are happening, but I know I don't need to know why everything is happening, just that it is in Divine motion.  This is not to say that I just sit around and don't do what I need to do.  I do whatever my part is to do and then I let go, to the best of my ability.

Finding Trust, Forgiveness and Acceptance can help you discover the most important love of all: love of self.  I want to emphasize that love of self does not automatically translate into selfish love.  I'm talking about loving that part of you that is part of God.  Your True Self.

When you make that connection, you experience the love in your life (and/or attract love into your life) on a whole new level.  I know this is true, because I have worked through this process on a personal level.  More importantly, I have watched it manifest in the men and women who have participated in my workshops.

Be sure to come back next week, as the month of "love" comes to a close and the theme of reconnecting to our hearts comes full circle.

To learn more about Michael Hoare and Ah-Man, visit here.

Losing Love and Finding Trust

Last, week, I shared with you something very painful; the loss of the love of my life.  If you will recall, I talked about how difficult it was to reconnect to my heart and regain the trust we each must have in order to love – or learn to love – again.

Even before the death of this special woman, I was all too familiar with the loss of precious things and precious people.  As a young child, I lost my innocence because of sexual abuse, which led to abusive and dysfunctional adult relationships.  I lost both parents when I was 15; my best friend when I was 18; my younger brother when I was 19; another dear friend when I was 25, and the list could go on and on.

It takes my breath away just writing about it. 

I could have shriveled up and lost it.  But I refused to give in to the anger and I was determined to learn how to trust again.  And I believe that because I would not allow myself to stop trusting, a new love came into my life…and what a love she is!  We have a relationship that is soaring to heights I have never experienced before. 

For me, Trust was the beginning of it all.  Some believe that the word “trust” is interchangeable with the word “faith.”  I call trust faith in action.  Once I had trust, my faith certainly grew; but before trust, my faith was unstable at best.  My trust began with my understanding of my relationship with The Divine Mother/God/Higher Power and Her relationship to us all.  Once I was able to get a grip on my understanding of our relationship, I found a trust unlike any I ever had before.

In the next couple of weeks, I’m going to talk about the other two essentials – Acceptance and Forgiveness – that, along with Trust, comprise the foundation of my life.  I’ll explain how we must understand and embrace these three fundamentals in order to find true love.

To learn more about Michael Hoare and Ah-Man, visit here.

The Month of Love

I can hardly believe it.  It seems like just yesterday we were in the midst of the holiday season, and now February has arrived.  For some of us, there is nothing to look forward to over the next several weeks but more wintry weather.  However, the romantics among us look forward to Valentine's Day.  For some, February is the month of love.

Speaking of which, I want to share with you one of my favorite poems about love:

The Sky Gave Me It's Heart

The sky gave me its heart because it knew mine was not large enough to care for the earth the way it did.
Why is it we think of God so much?
Why is there so much talk about love?
When an animal is wounded no one has to tell it, "You need to heal," so naturally it will nurse itself the best it can.
My eye kept telling me "Something is missing from all I see."  So it went in search of the cure.
The cure for me was His beauty, the remedy - for me was to love

Rabia of Basra (c. 717-801) A Sufi Mystic

What a beautiful poem.  The "cure" is love.  How true!  But what is the cure for a loss of love?

No matter how we lose a loved one - because of a mutual parting of the ways, because we choose to leave or someone chooses to leave us, or because we are separated by death - it is a painful experience.  Sometimes, part of the aftermath is that we find we have lost our ability to trust.  And without trust, it is virtually impossible to make a connection and love again.

I have been to that painful place.  After I lost the love of my life, I wondered if I would ever fall in love with someone like that again.  I had done massive work surrounding my loved one's parting.  Because of that work, I did trust that everything was happening in Divine order.  I just was not sure if a love like that could happen twice.  It is like lightning striking twice in the same spot.  Boy, was I ever wrong.  By being able to keep an open heart, love found its way to me more than ever before.

During the next few weeks, I will be discussing how we can reconnect to our hearts, even after experiencing the loss of a loved one.  It will be a journey of hope and validation.  Please join me.

To learn more about Michael Hoare and Ah-Man, visit here.