Ah Man Blog

Honoring Community and Country

Being active in our community and in our country helps improve both, and is also a way of honoring life.

Our communities and our country support life and, in turn, our support of them supports life. It doesn’t take much. Whether you are new or grew up in your area, voting is a privilege and an honor and that is a way of supporting the community. Even if you can’t vote yet, you can support local business and attend local events. You can contact a local official and give them kudos for the work they’re doing, or express your appreciation for the way they voted on an issue. These are just a few of the many ways you can support your community.

Honoring our country is another way of honoring life. Our country provides for and protects us in many ways. One way to honor our country is to thank a Vet. As I’ve traveled around the world, I see that all countries have problems, not just my country.

When I was younger, it was easy to point out my country’s flaws.  It was all over the news. People were marching in the streets. There were campaigns created to try and change the way our country was run, and so much more going on. But as I traveled the world, I was able to begin to see and feel the good that is going on right here at home.

As with everything within the material creation, there is positive and negative. Life wouldn’t exist if not for both sides. Can you imagine if in the Law of Physics, there was only a positive or a negative, one without the other? We wouldn’t exist as we do now. Similarly, in the material world there is negative and there is positive. So, no, our country is not perfect, but we do have a template (The Constitution) to help us be the best we can be. And we can help it become all that it can be, by challenging the negatives and strengthening the positives.

By just focusing on the negatives, you are bringing yourself and everyone around you down; it’s not helping anything. As with everything in life, we do the best we can, keep our side of the street as clean as possible and let go and know that there is a Higher Power also involved. In God We Trust.

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Honoring Roots and Tradition

This blog post is a continuation of the topic that began in my May newsletter: Honoring Life.

When we honor our roots and traditions, we are honoring our Mothers. Do you really think that you were placed in your family willy-nilly? Everything has a purpose. Now, we might not always know what that purpose is, but it’s there.

If you could go back in time, you’d find that all of our cultures honored Mother Earth and, indeed, all that gives life. It doesn’t matter what continent our forefathers came from, or what their religious backgrounds were… it’s there. Honoring all that has given us life. And the holidays that you were brought up with do have meanings. Unfortunately, some of those original meanings have been lost due to the passage of time and the onslaught of commercialism.

Maybe you were like me and, at some point in time, you didn’t want to have anything to do with the religion you were brought up in, or be connected to your roots…your cultural background. There were memories that were not so nice associated with those things, so one way of getting rid of them was to disown them. I didn’t want to be known as Irish, or a Catholic.

As I healed, I was able to see things differently. It was not my culture or roots that caused me pain; just some people who were misguided. And it wasn’t the religion that I grew up in that caused me pain; just some people who just happened to be part of the same religion, but who were ill-advised.

As part of my healing about 12 years ago, I took my children to Ireland to meet my father’s family in the south and my mother’s family in the north. I was really able to take in all the wonderful characteristics and traits of the Irish, and was able to see how those very things helped me be who I am today. I honor those traits and characteristics in me today.

When occasions arise, I go to church and participate. I see through the dogma and enjoy the message of Jesus of Nazareth, the readings of the saints, and all that others receive from the ritual(s).

In this way, I honor my roots and culture; all that which has brought me life.

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Happy Mother's Day...to Me!

My friend, Mitch, and I went to the same high school, Rice High School in Harlem, NY.  When I left for the ashram after high school, I lost contact, like many of my friends. About 15 years ago or so, one of our best friends died, I saw Mitch at the funeral and we picked up our relationship exactly where we left off. A couple of years later, he began to build his dream house…a log cabin in Woodstock NY. I came up several times to help him and, after it was finished, I used to go up more often.

At that time, I had a routine practice of morning meditation and prayer. About eight years ago, I went up to the cabin one weekend. I was sitting out on the porch wrapped in a blanket meditating. It was a cool spring morning and the sun was shining, but it wasn’t warm enough…yet.

I brought myself to that part of my meditation in which I was experiencing the silence. Then, as if it was downloaded into me, I experienced a memory; a vision as if it was happening right then and there. The odd thing is that prior to this happening, I have absolutely no recollection of this incident. Unfortunately, most of the memories from my childhood are painful ones. But I know it was a real incident…that it happened. I know it in my soul.

The flash of memory was when I was about 18 months old, and my Dad was swinging me over the little breakers at Rockaway Beach in Queens, NY. Each one of my tiny hands was tightly holding on to one of his big index fingers, and he was swinging me over the little waves. I heard the seagulls in the backgrounds and the waves were gently crashing. I could even feel the wet breeze with each wave breaking underneath me as my Dad swung me out of the reach of each wave that broke beneath me.

Then, as one wave was breaking, he didn’t pick me up in time and it broke right on my chest and face. I was surprised and wet! I could taste the salt water, and I looked up to my Dad and I saw him smiling. It was such a wide grin, I could see all his teeth, and his unshaven face, his big green eyes, and I too laughed, at first I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry, but seeing my Dad’s reaction encouraged my reaction.

“Bill, bring Michael up here” I heard my mother’s voice say from somewhere up the beach. And Dad picked me up in his huge arms, rubbing his unshaven face into my chest he took me back to Mom.

Dad brought me up to the white bed sheet that Mom was on, which they used as a blanket. It had all the bags and towels spread all around it. Mom then dried me off and took out the Coppertone lotion and slathered it on me. It was such a loving act. I felt she was protecting me, and she wanted to get every spot on my body covered in this lotion. I just looked at her as she diligently applied this white lotion all over my body.

I came out of my meditation about that time. It was such a wonderful memory to have of my Mom and Dad. I couldn’t wait for Debbie (my late fiancée) to wake up so I could share it with her. She then reminded me that it was Mother’s Day. I began to cry. It was a good cry, not a sad one. At that point, I had been working so hard for years on healing my relationship with my parents and then to receive this gift; I was overwhelmed with joy.

I hadn’t thought of my mother or father on the days that honor our mothers and fathers for over 25 years, and if I did think of them at all, it was negative things I remembered.

That memory was truly a gift. Debbie said it was a gift from my angels, which I believe, but I also know it was a gift from all of those I was able to completely forgive: Mom, Dad and God.

For this Mother’s Day, I honor my Mother by sharing with you her gift to me.

Peace and love,
Michael

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Mother's Day

For a long time, it was very difficult for me to honor my mother. I’m sure I am not the only person who has had a strained or estranged relationship with his or her mother. There are many reasons this can happen.

My reason was one of the more difficult ones to overcome. I was a victim of incest by my mother. Then, shortly after my 16th birthday, she passed away.  It took over 20 years for me to begin to heal myself, and thus begin to heal my relationship with my mother, even though she was no longer here physically.

There was lots of forgiving to be done: forgiving myself (not uncommon for survivors); forgiving my mother; and this is where it all came together for me…forgiving God for letting it happen.  This took several years to accomplish, including many therapy sessions, a lot of group work, and learning how to relive the pain without self-medicating it. Despite the fact that it was suggested that I take medication during the period I was uncovering my memories and confronting my feelings about them, I decided not to, for whatever reason, which maybe wasn’t the best way to handle my recovery, but that’s the way I did it.

When I began to emerge to the other side of it all, my life did change.  I did lots of work on myself, studied why those who sexually victimized others do what they do, and understood deep within my heart that in order for me to heal, I needed to begin to Trust again, Forgive where I needed to forgive and, to some extent, Accept that this happened and not stay in a victim mode, which was for me like a dog chasing its tail; I would be exerting a lot of energy but going nowhere fast, and at the end of it, I’d be more dazed and confused than I was before.

Next week, I will share with you a wonderful experience I had around Mother’s Day eight years ago, while I was in Woodstock, NY, meditating on the porch of one of my oldest friends.

In general, I know that some of us have wonderful relationships with our mohers, some not so good, and some others not at all. But we can all honor them.

Of course,  if you have a relationship and they are still present in your life, your choice of ways to honor them is more abundant than those of us who have a strained relationship or no relationship at all. So there are ways we can honor them without having to be present with them. This can be done in prayer, sending love and light, remembrance of happier times or of something you have from them or because of them that you cherish.

We can light a candle, plant a flower or make a donation that they might have made if they were still around. The ways of honoring our mothers are endless. Find a way that feels right to you and let your spirit move you.

Namaste,
Michael

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